Monday, July 30, 2007

Happy New Year To Me!

Now that I am starting to stumble out from the haze of birthday cake, presents and pampering, I can take a minute to think. Or more importantly, to blog.

Friday was my birthday. Birthday No. 29. Kind of a sobering number when you think about it. For a good part of the morning, I was rather bummed out. This is the last year of my 20s. All I could think was of how I had wasted yet another decade being fat.

I was fat at 19 and I vowed to change. That didn't happen. I was fat at 24 and I vowed to change. That didn't happen. I was fat at 27, and I vowed to change. Are you seeing a pattern here? I'm still not sure why it clicked during year #28, but it did and I'm running with it.

But what was most fabulous about my birthday (aside from the Benihana dinner, the bowling outing with my buds, the new Kate Spade from Mr. CCC and the ridiculously yummy Edda cake) was reading what my friends and family wrote in their cards to me. It really hit me that there are people in my life who truly, truly love me. They want the best for me and they're going to be there for me no matter what the number on the scale says. I was honestly touched and I wept like a little baby. Pathetic, really.

One thing that jumped out at me while reading my mom's message in my birthday card was where she wrote, "Happy New Year!" For a second, I thought she'd been sipping a little too much wine as she wrote my card or had sniffed too many magic markers at work...but she said something pretty interesting--a birthday is a new year for us as individuals. We all ring in Jan. 1 together, but it was on Friday that I really started my new year.

There's plenty of time between here and the Big 3-0 next July. Plenty of time for me to continue working towards the new me, the healthier me. (I was about to type "happier me" but you know what--it's time I stop equating happiness with my weight. I'm happy NOW. I have an amazing husband. Friends and family who care for me. A roof over my head, food on my table, and a job that while occasionally frustrating, allows me to be creative and do what I love. Save for a few ups and downs here and there, I'd say that all makes me pretty happy.)

My mom's message in the card really struck a chord and was just the kind of reminder I needed to boost my morale and keep me focused. Resolutions aren't just for January, right?

And mom did something even more important the day after my birthday. With my tummy full of cake and that aforementioned Benihana dinner, I was about to shy away from attending my Weight Watchers meeting. I was bloated after all that salty goodness of a meal but she told me to suck it up and go weigh myself.

"You'll know what you're dealing with and you can conquer it next week. Besides, you know if it's gone up, it's probably from all the food last night."

The woman had a point, so I went. And while this is no birthday miracle post, where I proclaim I lost a ridiculous amount of weight, I was pleasantly surprised to see I'd only gained 4 ounces. That's nothing. That's not even half a pound.

Every once in a while, you have to accept that life is going to hand you an extra four ounces (or two). I wouldn't have traded the amazing time I had Friday night for a loss on the scale.

As for the other glaring event in my life--Dobie is scheduled to have surgery tomorrow. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I am terrified. Terrified of the results, terrified of the possibilities, terrified of the risks. I spent a good chunk of the weekend holding him close, cuddling him and just spending time with him. It's really hard to accept how quickly this has happened--one day he's okay, the next he's in an ER, he gets better and then it's surgery. Poor pooch!

Whatever happens tomorrow is in God's hands and that's how I have to view it. I'm expecting to be a nervous wreck tomorrow waiting for the call from my family. But I know his vets have checked him from snout to tail to make sure he's able to have the surgery, so I am going to be positive and do a lot of praying.

Maybe you could too, pretty please?


Mimi said...

Happy New Year love!!
I will have my fingers and toes crossed for your little booger!!

Ash said...

Yes, I believe that God is concerned about what concerns you, and I will pray for both Dobie and you.

And I know you can make this year one of your best ever!

Shannon said...

CCC---Oh how I feel your pain with Dobie. We recently went through a very similar situation with one of our dogs. Prayers go out to you. I hope everything goes well and he comes out of this surgery with good news.

Also, congrats on having a wonderful 29 birthday! PLEASE be happy that you discovered your answer to your weight loss in your 20's and not much later! You still have TONS of life left after your weight is lost :-) Here's a good question for you.....what will be your new goal after you reach your weight goal?!?! :-)

BigLoser said...

Your mom is a smart is a new year for you. I think I will adapt her saying for my birthday in September!!!

I really felt your comment about NOT saying that you would be a 'happier you' just because of weight loss. You are so right. There are always things to be pleasantly happy about...our happiness should not be determined by our size!

Praying for you and Dobie. Really hope everything works out OK!

Oh...and Happy Belated Birthday!

SarahA said...

Happy belated birthday!!!! It sounds like you had a wonderful and inspiring day with people you love. And do you know what I love most about your post, you gushed about how lucky you were to have friends, family, all things but you didn't gush about food! If it were me a year ago I would have probably described everything I ate, how good it tasted and on and on and on. My focus would have been how wonderful the food was! You were able to say "we had good food' but reall concentrate on the wonderful people you had around you. That, to me, is HUGE!

I will be thinking of your little Dobie. I can't imagine anything like that happening to Scooter. He's like my child! It must be so scary. You're definately in my thoughts.

SarahA said...

Oh my God I just typed out this long message and the computer ate it. ARGH! Anyway the idea was to tell you happy birthday and that I'm thinking of you guys and little Dobie.

Livy said...

What an inspiring post! You should be happy right now, but my dear, isn't 30 going to go off??!! I am 31 now, and turning 30 isn't really any big deal, you will be a year older that's all.

My positive affirmations for Dobie, I'll be thinking of him. Please let us know.

Lora said...

Happy Birthday! Better late than never, right? This will be the year for you!

I'll say a prayer for Dobie, too. The Bbible says not a sparrow falls from the sky that the Lrd doesn't know I know he cares about our pets too!

MellyMel said...

I need to admit that I found your blog quite by accident and have been hooked ever since. I love, love,love how you tell it all and am now a fan who comes every few days or so to see what is new.

I am rooting for you in a big way, chica.


Chic Ink Designs said...

Sapo Verde to you!!!

It was great celebrating your b-day with you in a very aerobic-way (is bowling exercise???)

I love your mom's wisdom. She is one smart lady, who raised one smart daughter!!!

Here's to a year full of health and weight loss and shoes, lots and lots of shoes!