Sunday, January 4, 2009

Looking back...and forward.

So 2008 is over. It's a natural time for reflection. For introspection. For seeing what positive steps I took over the course of the past year.

I'm not one of those New Year's resolution types. I don't believe in them and think most of the time, they just set you up to fail...and then feel miserable about it. But I certainly don't mind taking a step back at the end of every year and looking back at how my life changed over the course of 12 months.

Some years, there are remarkable moments to reflect the year I married Mr. CCC. Or how we bought our first house. The year I got my first real writing job. The year I lost more weight than I gained.

Looking back at 2008 I see...12 months with some significant changes here and there...Mr. CCC and I welcomed a niece (whom I adore!) into our family. My company may be struggling, but I'm doing some of the best work of my career, personally. Mr. CCC has come into his own at work too. I started volunteering at a local animal shelter--something I'd been wanting to do for years. I began training with Ms. A--and while I haven't seen the progress I would have liked totally, I know my body is stronger than it was a year ago. Overall, I'd say Mr. CCC and I are growing up---and slowly accepting that whole "we're adults now!" thing...

But my weight? Pretty much stayed the same.

Over the holidays, I beat myself up over that for quite a while. We posed for pictures on our New Year's cruise and in looking at them, I felt my heart break. Sometimes I've been able to fool myself into thinking I looked okay--with flattering clothes and great hair days. But cameras don't lie. And those pictures showed me I was still far heavier than I should be.

It wasn't exactly a new realization. Before the holidays, I went completely bananas and re-joined Weight Watchers for approximately the 325th time. Only a crazy person would join WW during the holidays but I figured if I could just get through the holidays by staying the same weight, I'd be ahead of the curve once New Year's passed.

Tomorrow, I'll head back to my meeting. I'll see if I met that goal. I'll also be back in the gym with Ms. A (Thanks to some sessions from Mr. CCC and my mom as Christmas gifts, yay!) and there will be no more looking backwards.

Sure, maybe 2008 didn't help me reach all the health goals I would have liked. But it taught me plenty and now it's time to move forward...