Happy New Year To Me!

Now that I am starting to stumble out from the haze of birthday cake, presents and pampering, I can take a minute to think. Or more importantly, to blog.

Friday was my birthday. Birthday No. 29. Kind of a sobering number when you think about it. For a good part of the morning, I was rather bummed out. This is the last year of my 20s. All I could think was of how I had wasted yet another decade being fat.

I was fat at 19 and I vowed to change. That didn't happen. I was fat at 24 and I vowed to change. That didn't happen. I was fat at 27, and I vowed to change. Are you seeing a pattern here? I'm still not sure why it clicked during year #28, but it did and I'm running with it.

But what was most fabulous about my birthday (aside from the Benihana dinner, the bowling outing with my buds, the new Kate Spade from Mr. CCC and the ridiculously yummy Edda cake) was reading what my friends and family wrote in their cards to me. It really hit me that there are people in my life who truly, truly love me. They want the best for me and they're going to be there for me no matter what the number on the scale says. I was honestly touched and I wept like a little baby. Pathetic, really.

One thing that jumped out at me while reading my mom's message in my birthday card was where she wrote, "Happy New Year!" For a second, I thought she'd been sipping a little too much wine as she wrote my card or had sniffed too many magic markers at work...but she said something pretty interesting--a birthday is a new year for us as individuals. We all ring in Jan. 1 together, but it was on Friday that I really started my new year.

There's plenty of time between here and the Big 3-0 next July. Plenty of time for me to continue working towards the new me, the healthier me. (I was about to type "happier me" but you know what--it's time I stop equating happiness with my weight. I'm happy NOW. I have an amazing husband. Friends and family who care for me. A roof over my head, food on my table, and a job that while occasionally frustrating, allows me to be creative and do what I love. Save for a few ups and downs here and there, I'd say that all makes me pretty happy.)

My mom's message in the card really struck a chord and was just the kind of reminder I needed to boost my morale and keep me focused. Resolutions aren't just for January, right?

And mom did something even more important the day after my birthday. With my tummy full of cake and that aforementioned Benihana dinner, I was about to shy away from attending my Weight Watchers meeting. I was bloated after all that salty goodness of a meal but she told me to suck it up and go weigh myself.

"You'll know what you're dealing with and you can conquer it next week. Besides, you know if it's gone up, it's probably from all the food last night."

The woman had a point, so I went. And while this is no birthday miracle post, where I proclaim I lost a ridiculous amount of weight, I was pleasantly surprised to see I'd only gained 4 ounces. That's nothing. That's not even half a pound.

Every once in a while, you have to accept that life is going to hand you an extra four ounces (or two). I wouldn't have traded the amazing time I had Friday night for a loss on the scale.

As for the other glaring event in my life--Dobie is scheduled to have surgery tomorrow. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I am terrified. Terrified of the results, terrified of the possibilities, terrified of the risks. I spent a good chunk of the weekend holding him close, cuddling him and just spending time with him. It's really hard to accept how quickly this has happened--one day he's okay, the next he's in an ER, he gets better and then it's surgery. Poor pooch!

Whatever happens tomorrow is in God's hands and that's how I have to view it. I'm expecting to be a nervous wreck tomorrow waiting for the call from my family. But I know his vets have checked him from snout to tail to make sure he's able to have the surgery, so I am going to be positive and do a lot of praying.

Maybe you could too, pretty please?