It's just a number...

To know me is to know I am a certified shopaholic.

Even with my excess weight, for me, shopping is always a great way to pass the time. I love to hunt for a good deal...it's like a sport. I love to try and find things that highlight the parts of my body I do love (like my legs!). And don't get me started on shoes, bags or beauty products. (I love love love makeup shopping!)

So if anyone thought my pre-Hawaii shopping would be limited to a bathing suit, oh you were so sorely wrong. (And you really don't know me!)

As Zanitta pointed out on my bathing suit post, losing 20 pounds is a tweener stage. Sure, you've lost weight but maybe not enough to make some changes in your sizes. EEK! Did I get to experience that firsthand yesterday. I tried on a pair of shorts in two sizes--neither fit right. The larger one was too big...saggy and loose. The smaller size? It buttoned but it wasn't exactly flattering. (One small consolation: there was no muffin top. I hate muffin top!)

I'll admit--I was truly bummed by looking at some of the numbers in the tags. You'd like to think you're losing weight and your body is changing but as I kept poking through the racks, I started to see sizes as nothing but numbers. They weren't consistent. In some things by some designers, I fit into a 16. In others, I was an 18. And in some slightly disturbing cases, a 20. But there was no rhyme or reason. I wore different sizes in different items by the same designer. The little tag in the back started to become just a number--not a tormentor.

And then I started having fun!

I tried on a pair of tops, dresses, pants...and happily, I can say a lot of them looked great! Maybe to others I still look the same, but losing weight gives you confidence. You start to see yourself in a better light. Or maybe you do look better--because you're now actually the size of the clothing you've been squeezing yourself into. Who knows?

But I bought a dress that seriously looked good (A complete contrast to the dress I bought for Mr. CCC's 3oth a few months ago. OUCH to those pics!), I found some great black shorts. And get this--I was able to buy more shorts and some great tops at NY & Co. and Gap.

Did you read that? NY & Co. and Gap.

No Lane Bryant. No big-girl stores. It was fabulous!

Do I fit into everything into Gap and NY & CO.? Not yet. But I fit into enough things that made me feel good, made me feel like I was making progress, made me feel like soon I would be able to buy anything in there! It was just what I needed after my junk food bender from this weekend. Seeing one weekend didn't throw all the other work to the curb was huge.

It's about 48 hours now til Aloha time and I'm ready to get scooting. I have a feeling I may love these vacation pictures a lot more than last year's! (And I can't wait to see next year's vacay pics cause I know it's just going to keep getting better!)